Sex Work is Real Work

Um, I’m going to say some dirty words that I don’t like, and talk about dangerous situations, so I’m gonna go ahead and write “Trigger Warning” here.

I worked as a skimpy for a couple of months some time ago – that means that you pour drinks at the bar wearing lingerie or a costume, and after your shift you can pick up extra tips by being topless for a while, and chatting with the customers. In one week of doing that work, I noted that men would: gladly tell me, “I want to see your tits – and I want to see your pussy”; ask me back to their home, and repeat the question for two hours straight if I kept saying no; ask me to flash my breasts at them, and argue with me with all kinds of logic if I said that I don’t do that – in front of their wives; leer at my breasts; and touch me seductively if I walked on the other side of the bar. Also, upon befriending two men in the town, they each at different times tried to rape me – though thankfully(?), they were the sort to give up when you say, “I said ‘no, I don’t want to have sex with you’ and then you pinned me down and forcibly tried to have sex with me – that’s called ‘rape’ and that’s you trying to ‘rape’ me. You will leave now – goodbye.”

It taught me that men make the assumption that if you work at a “sexy” job, then you’re automatically making yourself sexually available to them – for company, viewing, dirty talk, touching, and sexing. I know that they do this with women anyway, however it’s like in non-”sexy” situations they at least have to come up with some “seduction” or “romancing and dating” scheme, or win a “power struggle”, or speak “nice guy” talk, to gain access; but “sexy” workers, in their minds, have waived those minimal boundaries and are primed and open for access.

I’ve complained to many people about those disgusting attitudes, and many responded, “Well, what did you expect?” So, when society isn’t congratulating men for violating women, it’s giving them a nod of acceptance.